"One day, we'll be standing around a body, and Sherlock Holmes will be the one that put it there." -Sally Donovan

 
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MURDER! An Author's best friend, and what normal people think when they look at the open tabs on our computers. The problem with Murder is a lot of us don't know anything about it, seeing as we're writers and not serial killers (...right?). So lets start with the law.

 

Disclaimer: I do not have Law or Criminal justice degrees. These tips are simply from research and advice. They are NOT to be used for criminal activity. 

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The Layman's guide to U.S. homicide terminology:

First off it is illegal to go around killing people. So no, you can not test out what you are going to do to your character on real people. 

First degree: Like in most fiction and murder mysteries, murder in the first degree is when the perpetrator has planned out the attack with the desire to kill their target. 

Second degree: While the perpetrator probably didn't plan it out, they still meant to kill their target. Possibly by commenting a crime like a drive-by shooting, armed robbery, or gang fight.

Third degree: Also called a "crime of passion" or "voluntary manslaughter", murder in the third degree isn't planned. The perpetrator had no intention or need to harm the victim beforehand. It often occurs in a fit of passion, such as a perpetrator walking in on a spouse and lover. 

Involuntary manslaughter: This category includes crimes such as Vehicular manslaughter, DUI, Criminal negligence, etc... The perpetrator was fully aware of what they were doing, and due to indifference caused the victim's death. Involuntary manslaughter is not planned nor intended.

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Now that the law is out of the way we can discuss some of the best ways to get away with killing someone.

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How to commit the perfect murder:

Now this is how you would commit a first degree murder and not get caught, however when writing your story it is very likely that you will need the perpetrator caught. Therefore, you must decide what mistakes they will make. Remember MURDER IS ILLEGAL! DO NOT USE THIS FOR CRIMINAL PURPOSES. 

Appearance: Try to look as inconspicuous as possible. 

  1. Clothes that blend in with the people that frequent the area. If your murder is casing a house in a neighborhood have them dress up as a jogger who just happens to stop across the street for a few minute rest and water. Have them repeat the cycle for a little over a week, then continue the cycle after the murder. If they are casing an apartment or hotel room have them dress as a resident, staff, utility worker, or landscaper. Your murderer must always look like they belong.
  2.  Change their appearance as much as possible. Have them wear a wig, contact lenses, layer clothes to change body shape, and shoes too small or too large. 
  3. DO NOT WEAR PERFUME OR COLOGNE 

Supplies: Cash, cash, cash.

  1. Pay for everything with cash. It is much harder to track that way.
  2. Have them buy things slowly and over time, or with an ulterior agenda, in many different places. A clerk is far more likely to remember someone buying twelve coils of rope with nothing else, then someone who buys new rockclimbing shoes and two coils of rope, while chatting about how worn out their old rockclimbing shoes are  
  3. Never have them use their own electronics. No matter how thorough they might be deleting their browser history, the dudes down in Computer Forensics can dig it back up. If they absolutely need a computer try a library one, for a phone try a burner phone with prepaid minutes. 
  4. After about 15 minutes natural oils from your hands will start to leak through their gloves, consequently leaving fingerprints behind. Have them bring a box of gloves with them so that they can either layer or change.
  5. Do not use a gun. Riffling left by the barrel makes it very easy to connect a bullet to a gun.

Alibi: Plan ahead.

  1. Make sure you have a well thought out alibi, such as a torn cinema ticket. Don't make it up on the spot.

Disposing of the corpse: Hope your murder has a strong stomach

  1. Take an unregistered boat out into un-owned waters and the murder can't be traced back to any one legal system so they can't be prosecuted. 
  2. Dissolve the body in Acid or Lye
  3. Burn the body.
  4. Burry the body in pieces (in a deep and small grave) with a dead animal over the top to throw off cadaver dogs. 
  5. Grind the teeth into dust (far away from where you stay)
  6. Strip the flesh from the fingers and feed it to animals or burn it
  7. Dispose of the body in a garbage dump

Cleaning: Bleach everything

  1. Bleach, bleach, bleach.
  2. Scrub till you can't scrub anymore and then scrub some more. 
  3. Clean everything and then purposefully dirty it up again. Make it seem lived in.
  4. A small blacklight to double check what may be left. 
  5. Deep clean any carpet blood may have been in contact with.

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And that's all folks! I'll leave how to kill the unfortunate character up to you (But if you want any hints there will be another blog post coming up that will address wounds) 

Namárië!